I hit a bit of a speed bump today. The problem was that I could only blame myself for that one.
You see, I met with an online acquaintance yesterday. He seemed to have it all together, and to know all the right people and go all the right places, and he was actually a quite pleasant company.
Today, however, I started second-guessing my own journey. Am I on the right track? Have I done enough? Who do I think I am to dream those specific dreams? Shouldn’t I do some more and wait harder? Am I even good enough?
It took some serious Internetting – and some cool quotes – to get me back on track.
And now that I am more comfortable, I realize that he doesn’t necessarily have it all together, as I thought he did – he was constantly one-upping me. I have an old VW Bug (that technically is still in my mom’s name, but I didn’t tell him that!), he has three vehicles. I have a decent-ish pension plan, he has had a retirement annuity since he was 18 and it’s worth 10 times what I am expecting. I want to go and live in Italy, he has all the right contacts. But he doesn’t own any property (I do!) and he works 18-hour days (I definitely don’t!).
So, maybe I should not be so stressed about what success “should” look like. After all, I have done my homework and am busy working towards my goals. AND those goals are tailor-made for me: my current situation, my gifts and talents, and my interests. So if I let myself be influenced by other people’s lives (whatever they may be), and I change anything about my goals, then they won’t be such a perfect fit anymore, and I shall start doubting myself all the way to the bottom.
What I take from this exercise, is that I shouldn’t compare myself to others. Instead, I should focus on my own self. How am I doing in working towards my own goals? How do I compare to last year, last month, last week, and even yesterday? Are there any milestones that I can celebrate, even if they are small ones? If I feel that I have limited resources for whatever reason, are there some small goals that I can complete within my current situation, that would fit into the bigger picture later? In short, BE ME. I am the only person on this planet who is qualified to do that.
Ha!