
Life is all about making choices, and then living with the consequence of those choices. Some of those choices are easy and some are not. And then there are choices that you simply can’t make!
Right now, I am at one of those decision points. On the one hand, I have my family, friends, career, and support system all around me, but I can feel my soul slowly dying for lack of nourishment. On the other hand, there is a whole new life on the other side of the planet, which will be challenging and for which I will have to sacrifice everything I currently possess, but my soul will be free.
No matter which angle you look at this from, it is a gamble. It’s a matter of choosing between two devils: the one I know or the one I don’t know. And – frankly – it scares me shitless. What if I give up everything I have and fork up my life royally? What if I stay and everything gets taken from me regardless?
I can’t talk to anyone I know about this. They are family and friends. They love me. They want the best for me. BUT me rocking the boat will cause waves in their lives, too, and they will undoubtedly choose the life for me that causes THEM the least stress. What makes it worse, is that I don’t want to cause them unnecessary stress, either. However, I can’t keep on living this life. It is hell.
It’s not as if what I want to do is anything new. People have been uprooting themselves for centuries, loading everything they hold dear onto a wagon and moving across their known world, sometimes into uncharted territories. But I have never done that, before. I have never made decisions that were so radical that the mere thought of making them makes me lose sleep at night.
Sure, I can choose to stay. Everyone will be happy, except me. And it would be EASY. Or maybe not. The political situation here is extremely volatile.
Let’s look at this carefully. It’s on a computer screen now and out of my head, so the options should be clearer.
What am I uprooting everything for?
I want to live self-sufficiently on a backyard farm, from where I can travel freely and safely. I want to spend my time doing creative things, such as writing and making lifestyle vlogs for others to enjoy. Being active and creative will also reduce my stress level to such a point that I will be able to lead a more healthy life.
What is in this for me?
- I shall be independent, without the feeling of having to please others all the time.
- I will be able to move around safely and inexpensively.
- I will be able to realize my dream of living on a Permaculture homestead, even if it’s only a backyard farm.
- Properties are cheap. It’s just a matter of finding the right one.
- There will be peace around me, as well as in me.
- I will be challenged intellectually, solving new puzzles and learning new skills.
- Working with my hands will help me manage my stress levels. Lower stress levels mean less binge eating, which means that my weight will go down to healthy levels, and my blood pressure issues will disappear.
- I will eat more fresh and less processed food, with fruit and vegetables going straight from garden to table (with maybe a short pit stop at the stove!).
- My mental health will improve.
- My writings (blog and novels) and vlogs could become a source of passive income if I am good enough at what I do.
- Good healthcare is available, even from the government.
- Cost of living is reasonable, especially if I produce much of my own food.
- I won’t be discriminated against because of my skin colour and “apartheid.”
- My projects will be low-capital and be able to run independently within their first 3 years. Some might even be profitable and help to support others.
What are the challenges?
- To obtain a residence permit to allow me to stay for longer than three months in a year, I will have to cash out everything I own and register a small business, of which I will be the CEO. I will probably be able to reinvest some of that capital into a retirement savings fund, so all will not be lost, but still… it’s a big gamble.
- I have this massive fear of losing everything I have ever built. What if?
- Yes, there’s a war going on, and that can go both ways.
- Martial law, and its ramifications.
- I’ll be a foreigner. People don’t like foreigners.
- I’ll have to provide my own health insurance, at least for the first year.
- I speak an understand a decent Ukrainian, but there’s still a lot to learn.
- I won’t have a car. I will have an e-tricycle (slow) and be reliant on public transport.
- Whatever property I buy, I will more likely than not have to demolish the house.
- I will have to set up a workshop and a semi-industrial “summer kitchen” within the first 6 months of me arriving there, so that I can build a proper house, set up an aquaponic greenhouse, and also process my yield properly.
And now that I’ve set out all the positives and negatives in writing, it may not be as big a risk as I initially thought. On the contrary, I might be able to live quite comfortably on my little backyard farm, enjoying the peace and tranquility.