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When you learn to shut the f… up and actually listen to what other people say, you’ll realise something amazing. Half of what we believe about love, life, and everything else is attributed to the anonymous “They.” “They say…” and everyone else believes without judgment or verification. And those words that “they say” have the power to ruin your life if you let them. I let them. I am rebuilding, slowly and little by little. It’s not easy, but it is necessary.
One of the things THEY say is that you should never share your dreams with others. Apparently, you give those others power over your dreams if you do. I agree, and I disagree. There’s nothing worse than letting a dream bubble up from deep inside you, only to see someone step on those bubbles with big boots, telling you how you will never reach those dreams for various reasons. But NOT bubbling over with thousands of crazy dreams is worse! It gives your soul indigestion.
I am finally working on my bucket list. Ukrainians gave me the courage. The ones I have met, as well as the ones I read about. War changes people. Sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better.
I am finally getting my library qualification! Yes, I am 49 3/4 years old, and I am pretty much fed up with library work, but I have realised that a library science diploma opens doors that I would very much like to walk through. Shocking…
It’s not easy. Studying at any age over 20 is really hard, as my brain is set in its habits and my memory is not as supple as it once was. And captaining Team Last Minute is a full-time job. But I am getting things done, and not too badly, if I may say so myself. I am pretty much living on energy drinks when assignments are due, so much so that I am considering buying shares in a local energy drink company! They have great cans for their drinks, though. Worth collecting.
I have finally bought myself a coastal property. I found and bought plans on Etsy, and they are currently being redrafted for a steel-frame home that will follow South African building codes and regulations. Construction is not going to be cheap, no matter how I slice it. I can afford it, but it’s going to take a helluva sacrifice to do so, as well as copious amounts of elbow grease on my side.
How am I going to afford this venture? By retiring at 50 and taking my pension (which means house, by the way!) to put up the shell of the building. The house will be built and dried-in by a building company based in Bloemfontein, leaving me to finish up the inside over time and by myself. That’s going to take most of my money, to be completely fair and frank with everyone. A decent house in a quiet place and no money. Ha!
I can probably work remotely, and I will apply for those jobs, but my true passion lies in writing. That means that I will probably blog and vlog the whole process here and on my Afrikaans blog, and create YouTube shorts for the distant relatives and the many Americans who follow my crazy thoughts. The beginning will be catastrophically horrible, as most beginnings are, but I hope to gain enough experience with both the work and the camera to not embarrass my great-great-great-grand-nephews and -nieces too much.
And I will do stuff in between to raise some money for the projects after the house. I have big dreams for the next 10 years, if the Creator and the Docs allow me to reach them. I want to travel through the USA on an e-trike. And I want to build a boat and cross oceans. And I want to share the process with everyone. Oh yes, and I want to write books. Many books.
In plain language, I know there will be several “THEMs” who will tell me why I could not and should not even THINK of doing anything that I have written about in the previous paragraphs. Too old, too broke, and maybe even too “not good enough,” and “who do I think I am to even consider this?”
But maybe it’s time to look deep inside myself and find the part of me that has more courage than sense and simply DO these things. There are too many projects (even on this blog) that fell by the wayside because I was simply too afraid to follow through and cut through the red tape that surrounded those particular dreams. Well, as far as these dreams are concerned, my hat has already sailed over the proverbial fence. The only thing left for me to do is to get off my big, fat butt and to go over, under, around, or through that obstacle towards the life I really want, despite what THEY think and say!
